The Black Pearl and the Yellow Submarine
by Sparrow-Turner.gals
Summary: What happens to Captain Jack and his crew one day when the Pearl suddenly runs into a yellow brick road? Written by Erin.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from any movie, book, TV show, or song whatsoever.

Dearest readers, this is a story that makes fun of a bunch of movies, even though Pirates and LOTR are my favorite movies. I know it is very ridiculous, but I hope you enjoy this story and that it makes you laugh. I will graciously accept any reviews, good or bad.

It was a normal day on the Black Pearl, and pirates were scrubbing the deck, making it look very lovely. Suddenly, the ship jolted and stopped making Elizabeth almost fall off the edge. "What did we bloody hit?" Jack yelled hurrying over to the stern. In the middle of the ocean was a yellow brick road. "That's interesting," Jack almost whispered. In the distance, five figures could be seen running…oh wait…skipping, down the road.

"Follow the yellow brick road!" they were singing merrily. Suddenly there was an explosion and one of the figures was knocked into the ocean by a cannonball shot from the Pearl. "Scarecrow!" a young girl shouted hurrying over to the edge of the road.

"Bull's-eye!" Ragetti yelled. A little black dog started running down the road at full speed. He sprinted up a ramp onto the Pearl (Jack had put it down to go investigate), and ran right over to Ragetti.

"Oh, it's cute. Can we keep it?" Ragetti asked getting very excited. The dog growled and jumped onto the pirate. Ragetti's fake eye fell out and Toto grabbed it with his sharp little teeth. "Me eye!" the frantic pirate shouted. He chased after the dog all around the ship.

Meanwhile Dorothy, the Lion, and the Tin Man had pulled the soaked Scarecrow out of the water. They dragged him onto the Black Pearl to see if they could get help. "Please, sir, we need to get to the wizard so the Scarecrow can get a brain, the Tin Man can get a heart, the Lion can get courage, and I can go back to Kansas," Dorothy pleaded asking directions from Jack.

"Why don't ye stay 'ere and 'ave some rum!" Jack smiled opening his arms wide.

"Myyyyy Prreciousssssssssssss," a small voice said in a combination of hissing and whispering. A horrid creature hobbled out of the shadows smiling with his few rotten teeth, arms extended to Dorothy. Suddenly, a man swung down from a rope knocking the creature off the side of the ship. "Nnooooooooooooo!" it screamed before falling into the water and sinking. The man was dressed in black and he carried a gun at his belt.

"Who are you?" Dorothy asked her lifesaver.

"The name's Bond…James Bond," he said. He grabbed Dorothy and they swung onto a jet ski next to the ship. Bond started up the machine and rode away into the sun with Dorothy merrily waving goodbye to her friends on the Pearl.

A phone rang pulling Jack and the strange creatures from the fading figures on the jet ski. Another man dressed in black with dark black sunglasses landed on the deck as if he fell from the sky. "Mr. Anderson," he said to Jack.

"No, Captain Jack Sparrow. It's Elrond right?" Jack asked. But the man ignored him and hurried toward to phone. Ragetti beat him there and picked it up. He still had not gotten his eye back from Toto.

"Oh, hey Pamela!" he said. "I was thinking…we should get our nails done next week…pause…oh my gosh, he said THAT! Oh, you poor thing!"

The man shook his head and super-jumped off the ship and flew away. "I didn't know elves could fly," Will said. Something glistened in the corner of his eye. "Shiny penny!" he ran to grab the shining object, but Toto grabbed it first. Ragetti hung up the phone and they both hurried after the little dog.

All of a sudden, a motorcycle appeared on the yellow brick road. Captain Jack, his crew, the soaking Scarecrow, the Tin Man, the Lion, and Toto watched as it approached. Another man jumped off and boarded the ship. "And you are?" Jack asked wondering if he really wanted to know.

"The Governator," the man said in a deep voice with an accent. "Who are you?" he asked pointing to the three odd creatures that had been on the road before.

"We were headed to the Wizard of Oz to see if he could give us brains, a heart, and courage," the Tin Man answered.

"Could the wizard get me a new hovercraft?" the man asked.

"Um…I guess," the Tin Man replied wondering what a hovercraft was.

"I'll be back," the Governator said jumping onto his motorcycle and driving away.

Next, a boy flew over the ship on a broomstick. He had funny-looking glasses, and he carried a short stick as his only weapon. "Ku blockle shnockle pingle storkenheimer cloggleface!" he yelled pointing the stick at the Lion. Zap! He turned into a fuzzy, pink bunny. "Oh Hogpimples!" the boy shouted flying away. Everyone looked at the "Lion" and turned back to look at the boy.

"That's interesting," Jack said. A few minutes later, faint music could be hear. It grew louder and louder until a giant shadow could be seen under the waves. The shadow got bigger and bigger and finally could be seen as a giant yellow submarine.

"We all live in a yellow submarine! Yellow submarine! Yellow submarine!" The people were singing inside. A porthole opened and someone popped his head out. "Would you like to come in?" he asked. They all looked at Jack.

"Well I'm not waitin' fer Puff the Magic Dragon to show up!" Jack said. He and almost all of the others quickly boarded the submarine and started sailing away.

"Me eye!" Ragetti finally said putting the wooden circle into his head. He looked up and saw that only he and Will were left, and Will watched the submarine sail away holding his shiny penny. Suddenly, a giant squid creature began to attack the submarine.

Will screamed, "Watch out! It's the Crak- oh wait…um…Craker, Croplunk, Crinkleheimersmith? Oh forget it…"


	2. Chapter 2

The yellow submarine narrowly escaped being destroyed by the Kraken. "Take me back t' me ship!" Jack yelled. The submarine began to head back to the Pearl, but a loud motor was heard. The big sub surfaced, and a man riding a motorcycle was seen coming down the yellow brick road.

"It's the Govendater, goventater, govewaiter? How do you say that again?" Elizabeth said. The man entered the submarine and went up to the Tin Man. He punched him.

"The wizard did not get me a new hovercraft!" The Governator said.

"Oh, sorry," the Tin Man replied going back to his little weenie. It was a delicious little tiny hot dog wrapped cozily inside some golden brown bread with a slice of delicious cheddar cheese. Quite delectable. Aww…they're so cute! And they're grrrreat! Like Frosted Flakes! Part of a nutritious breakfast. Actually Frosted Flakes aren't very nutritious…oh well…

"Hey, Radiator," Elizabeth whispered putting her hands on his muscular chest.

"Actually it's Gover- You know what? Just call me Jack," he answered. "I'll get you one of those delicious little weenies. Wow, they're so great! Like Frosted Flakes!"

The Gover- oh wait…Jack, returned with two little weenies. (so cute!) He gave one to Elizabeth. "Thank you, Jack," she said. Captain Jack turned around to face her.

"You're welcome," he said smiling.

"No, not you. We named the hunky Jack," she smiled putting her arms around the Gover- I mean Jack. Suddenly there was a knock on the port hole on top of the submarine. One of the Beatles opened it up. The boy with the weird glasses and broom stick stood there.

"Is this the Chamber of Secrets?" he asked. Everyone shook their heads. "Oh, Johnjacobjingleheimersmith!" he yelled in disappointment. All of a sudden a blast of fire blew the boy off the top of the submarine.

"Puff the magic dragon!" people sang in soft voices. Jack (Captain Jack, that is) grabbed the cover of the port hole and closed it.

"Always has to ruin the fun," Jack (the Captain) said. "On the other hand, he blew that bloody boy off th' face of th' earth."

Legolas and Gimli sat in the corner of the room at the weenie table. Gimli had eaten at least one hundred weenies and he fell on the floor unable to eat any more. Legolas had also eaten the same amount, but he seemed unaffected. Suddenly he said, "I feel a slight tingling in my fingers. I think it's affecting me!"

Oh no! What will happen next! We've run out of weenies!


	3. Chapter 3

The Gover-…ugh…I mean Jack, went back to beating up the Tin Man for not telling the truth. "Are ye beatin' up th' Tin Man fer not tellin' th' truth?" Jack (the dread-locked one) asked angrily.

"Yes," the Gov- sigh…Jack answered.

"Oh, ok, carry on," Jack (Captain) said.

A man sat at a table in the corner of the room. He had just thrown down an odd beaker to the floor. He now sat with his head in his hands, twitching and shaking all over. _Head…pulsing…feel…angry! _he thought. _Hands…arms…bulging! Shirt…ripping! My head…it feels…like it will…explode! What's wrong with me! _Slowly he began to get bigger. His muscles grew huge, and his clothes ripped. The man's pale skin began to change. It grew greener every second until it was as green as the grass on a hot Sunday in the middle of August in Oklahoma at 12:43 pm. The man grew until he was huge! "HULK ANGRY!" he shouted. He burst a hole in the submarine and swam out to sea, where he was eaten by the Kraken. Oh, how sad…

Slowly, water began seeping into the submarine. "Get th' rum!" Jack (the bloody pirate) shouted.

"We don't have any more rum," someone said.

"Why is th' rum always gone?" Jack said to himself. "Get the little weenies!" he shouted.

"We don't have any more little weenies."

Jack's eyes widened. He sank to his knees and screamed, "Noooooooooo!" The pirate, who had never before really cried in his whole entire swashbuckling life, put his head into his hands and sobbed uncontrollably.

Suddenly, a small orange and white fish floated into the submarine, which now had about six inches of water at the bottom. "Hi, I'm Nemo! I come from the ocean!"

"Ah, the big blue…what's it like?" the Tin Man asked (who was now just a blob of crunched up tin).

"Um…big…and…full of many different kinds of fish that live in places like reefs or swim near the shallows and there sharks and dolphins and seals (oh my!) and clownfish and parrotfish and big fish and small fish and red fish and green fish and orange fish and purple fish with a little bit of blue in them and there's sand and lots of water and reefs and grass and clams and lobsters and shellfish and hermit crabs and horseshoe crabs and garbage that people throw in, and those big plastic things filled with bubbles," he said very quickly as if it was only one sentence.

"I knew it!" the Tin Man answered.

"Do you know where my brother's cousin's aunt's niece's third cousin twice removed's lawn mover's dog's fire hydrant's dad is?" the little fish asked.

"Um…well…oh my gosh, it's an extra little weenie! It's in the ocean!" he lied.

"IT'S MINE!" everyone screamed jumping in through the hole in the sub.

"Uh, I was just kidding," the Tin Man called after them. But everyone was too far away to hear.

Will our friends ever find the little weenie! To be continued… Wait a minute, who says they're our friends? Ahh! It's a little weenie on the keyboard! Fheoanvmaofjeoiajvoejar0938031qf v90432QVN 90840325n43qvr mHAI FewPU3RN0P ru3w RU03 vuRW3CRM039U59nbur23q r02q3nuv mmm…those things are so good! And they're great like Frosted Flakes! Which I think are NOT part of a nutritious breakfast cause they're filled with sugar. But they're still grrrreat!


	4. Chapter 4

**It was a dark and stormy night…**

Actually, it wasn't dark or stormy, and it wasn't even night.

Otherwise the characters, would have a fright!

I've always wanted to say that

I hope it's not a crime,

I'm glad we got the chance to chat

I hope you liked my rhyme!

Anyway…in the last chapter our fearless friends had just jumped out of the yellow submarine into the dark depths of the ocean in search of the weenie of power. The Tin Man, however, was only a crunched-up, disfigured blob of tin, so he could not join in the hunt. Will and Ragetti were still on the Black Pearl, and they had no idea what was going on…what will happen next! Read on, my friends, and find out.

Almost to the story…

Scroll down a little more…

Keep reading…

Don't lose hope…

Don't get impatient…

Please don't slap me on the face for this…

A little more…

Okay, here's the story:

Oh, sorry, I ran out of time…well, see you next time folks! Don't be too mad! Hopefully, I'll get to the story tomorrow, or the next day, or maybe in a few years…


	5. Chapter 5

Dearest, wonderfullest, loyal readers, I'm truly very sorry about the last chapter. I hope you are not too annoyed with my rambling on. I actually did run out of time, though, since I spent a few hours chasing a flying weenie. But this is where the story continues on. If it is a story. I hope it continues here. I'm not quite sure…

In the second to last chapter, our friends began to wander the deepest, darkest depths of the ocean in search of…oh you know what happened. If you've already bloody forgotten read the last few chapters again! Gosh! Frikin' idiots!

Terribly sorry, that was my dark side. I really hope I did not offend you in any way, my dear readers. Okay, back to the story.

Our friends (or enemies, whichever you prefer) sped through the ocean as they chased the swimming weenie of power! It was just ahead and Paul McCartney (one of the guys from the Beatles) had almost caught it. Suddenly, a humongous monster swam up right in front of him. "The Loch Ness Monster!" he shouted. Although it came out sort of like, "theblub Lobblablubblub Neblbublblbubl Moblbublbstbleber!" because he was underwater.

The others looked at each other trying to contemplate what Paul had said. While they were scratching their heads and thinking, the monster ate the swimming weenie of power and swam away. Paul stared wide-eyed at it, but he then realized that his eyes were stinging harshly from the salty sea water. So the man hurriedly swam back to the yellow submarine.

The others still hovered there, arching their brows and going over what McCartney had said trying to figure it out, when they realized that they could not breathe underwater. Except for the Scarecrow who could not breathe at all. So he just stayed there thinking while the others swam back to the sub.

When they got there, however, the sub was almost filled with water. "The sub is almost filled with water!" the Lion, who was actually a bunny, said. But since he was a bunny, the others could not understand what he was talking about. So, they treaded water for a few minutes trying to figure it out. Suddenly, the group noticed that the sub had completely filled up with water, and they could not breathe anymore.

"The sub is completely filled up with water, and we cannot breathe anymore!" Elizabeth shouted. But what she said came out as a bunch of air bubbles, and no one could understand it. So they started to think about it when something crashed through the side of the submarine.

"It's the Kraken!" Legolas shouted. Since he was an elf prince, everyone understood him perfectly because elves are very cool.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" they shouted (although it didn't sound like that.) But the group didn't really care that they couldn't understand what they were all saying because they were under attack, and they hadn't been breathing for a while.

Hope this isn't getting too confusing or boring for you, dearest readers. Okay, please continue. (Your comments are greatly appreciated.)

Anyway, Jack, his crew, the Gover- I mean the other Jack, the "Lion", the Tin Block, and the Beatles all climbed aboard a flying carpet (with eyes) that had magically appeared. (Must have been a pretty big carpet. Probably one of the ones that covers the whole floor.)

Well, the carpet carried everyone back to the Black Pearl where they enjoyed the weenies that Ragetti had cooked. Will had already eaten, and he sat in the corner stroking his shiny penny with eyes as wide as a curious two-year old.

"PIIIIIKAAAAAACHUUUUUU!" something screamed in a very squeaky voice. Suddenly a thunderbolt crashed down from the sky missing the ship by at least ten feet.

"Arg! Try again, Pikachu," a boy said disappointedly.

"PIIIIKAAAAAACHUUUUUUU!" the squeaky voice exclaimed again. This time the thunderbolt was seen far away on the horizon. The attack went on again and again for nearly an hour, while the crew watched calmly from the Pearl eating their weenies. Each time the attack missed. Sometimes it was so far away that the group couldn't see it. One time the emperor of China called to complain that a thunderbolt had hit his plate of Orange Chicken.

"Okay, Pikachu, one more time," the boy said with as much excitement as the first attack.

"Pi…ka…chhhhhhh…chhhh…pause…chu," the squeaky voice uttered between breaths. Suddenly a little yellow creature with black stripes that had been standing on the deck fell over with a small clunk.

"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the boy yelled jumping down off the mast. He ran over to the exhausted creature with tears streaming down his face. He started sobbing uncontrollably.

"Um…mate," Jack said. "It's just sleeping." The boy looked at him in surprise. He was so embarrassed that he jumped off the ship screaming. He was immediately eaten by the Krakin. The group glanced at the sleeping yellow thing on the deck, and looked at each other.

A few minutes later, the creature blasted out of the cannon into the clear sky. "LOOKS LIKE HE'S BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" the Tin Block shouted. Jack slapped him. Then they all went back to their weenies.


	6. Chapter 6

My faithful readers, I appreciate that you have come back for yet another totally random and slightly funny chapter. Every day I look forward to all your wonderful comments, and hopefully you look forward to another chapter. I'm not sure how many I'm going to have before the story ends (no, why does it have to end!), but if you have any ideas for a random new character, please let me know.

I will start with a poetic verse about little weenies:

Little weenies I love you!  
Even more than Pikachu.

You can be quite hard to get,

But don't you worry, don't you fret.

Cause I will never stop to cry,

I will hunt you till I die!

Muhahahahahahahahahahahaha! I hope no little weenies are reading this.

Anyway, we left our dear friends (if that's their real name) on the deck of the Black Pearl eating little weenies. (Except for Scarecrow who was still in the ocean trying to figure out what Paul McCartney had said.) But alas, pretty soon the weenies will all be gone! Nooooo! What is the world coming to! We must send someone to warn our heroes! Hmm…who should we send…I know!

Captain Jack, his crew, the "Lion" (who was really a bunny), the Witch and the Wardrobe (just kidding! Hahahahahahahaha), the Tin Block, the other Jack, and the Beatles were all sitting on the deck in lawn chairs (that appeared out of nowhere) eating little weenies.

Suddenly, a sticky white string shot out and stuck to the mast. The group all craned their necks to look up. All of a sudden, a man wearing a red, black, and blue suit came swinging up onto the deck. "Who are you?" Elizabeth asked. But it sounded more like, "whmm armmm yummm?" because her mouth was full of a little weenie.

"I am the Human Spider!" the figure said.

"You mean Spiderman?" Jack asked. But his mouth was full also so it didn't sound like that.

"What?" the "Human Spider" asked.

"You mean Spiderman?" Legolas asked. Even though his mouth was full, everyone could understand him because he's an elf, and elves are awesome!

"Um…some may call me that," Spiderman answered. "But I've been asking them to call me the Human Spider because that sounds more heroic."

"Sorry, but it sounds more like somethin' out 'f a horror movie," Jack said.

The Human Spider's eyes widened at this, and he blushed a little. Or maybe that was just the costume. You never know these days. "You really think so?" he asked with a little fear in his voice. Everyone nodded. "Darn!" It was then that Spiderman remembered to remind everyone that the little weenies were about to run out. He smiled menacingly, well at least I think he did. I'm not quite sure because of the mask. "Oh my gosh! It's a little flying weenie going down the yellow brick road!" he lied. Everyone's eyes and mouths opened wide and they ran, arms flailing, down the road. Laughing evilly to himself, the Human Spider grabbed the tray of weenies and swung away with it.

"I don't see any flying weenie," Ragetti said crossing his arms and sticking his bottom lip out once they were about a mile down the road.

"I do! It's over there!" John Lennon said. (Another Beatles guy.) So they group ran after the flying weenie into the sun.

Meanwhile, the Scarecrow was still thinking to himself when he suddenly smiled. "I got it!" he said. "Paul McCartney said 'It's a lobless lobster'!" But the Scarecrow wasn't sure what that meant, so he stayed in the water and began to think about it…

What will happen now? Will our friends ever catch the flying weenie? Will Scarecrow ever figure out what 'It's a lobless lobster' means? Will the Human Spider (who is now a menace instead of a hero) ever be caught with the stolen weenies? (I'm so very sorry he stole them, by the way. I really sent him to warn the others that the weenies were almost gone. But then he stole them…how could he!) To be continued…


	7. Chapter 7

Hello? Readers? Are you still here? (of course you are if you're reading this!) I'm not sure why you keep coming back for more, but I'm glad you do. I'm running out of ideas for new characters, so if you think of anything let me know somehow. Hmm…for this chapter I've got a pretty crazy idea. Not sure if you'll like it or find it funny, but I'm sure the next one will be better…at least I hope it will. So enjoy! (reviews are accepted with gratitude! Special thanks to Dunedain Rose Thorn for being my most faithful reviewer!)

"Ye know, I 'ad a thought about gettin' me eye done," Ragetti told Pintel as the group hurried down the yellow brick road in hot pursuit of the flying weenie. It was about 102.4 degrees, so it was quite a hot pursuit. There was not much humidity, however, so it didn't feel as hot as it really was. Maybe it was just a lukewarm pursuit then…I don't really know…

"You can probably get it done at the Emerald City, where the wizard lives," the Tin Block said. He was being rolled in a baby stroller, because he was just distorted block. Ragetti seemed to contemplate this for a while.

"I 'ave a question…" Ragetti said a little later. Jack sighed and rolled his kohl-lined eyes.

"And what's that, mate?" Pintel asked ready to answer whatever his friend said.

"How many licks does it take t' get t' the center of a tootsie pop?" he asked thoughtfully.

"Let's see," Pintel said whipping out a grape-flavored pop. He began to lick it.

**Two hours later…**

Pintel was still ferociously licking the tootsie pop. "I think I lost count," he looked at Ragetti sadly.

"What did you leave off with?" Ragetti asked hopefully.

"Three," Pintel answered. Ragetti got a confused look on his face.

"That doesn't seem right," he said.

"'Ow would you know! You can't count, either!" Pintel said, angry that Ragetti had doubted his counting skills. Ragetti shrugged. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? The world will never know!

**After a while…**

"I've 'ad another thought…" Ragetti said. Pintel just looked at him, still mad from the tootsie pop question.

"Are zebras white with black stripes or black with white stripes?" Ragetti asked.

"I 'ave a feelin' they're black with white stripes," Pintel answered.

"I don't think so, Pintel," Ragetti said. "I think they're black with white stripes."

"That's what I said!" Pintel argued.

"What's what you said?" Ragetti asked getting confused.

"I said they're black with white stripes, and you disagreed and said they're black with white stripes," he explained.

"Well that doesn't make sense. Why would we both say the same thing?" Ragetti said.

"Because yer not smart and ye lack common sense!" Pintel answered angrily. Ragetti looked hurt.

"You really think that?" he asked.

"No, I was just a bit angry," Pintel said, his eyes softening.

"Alright," Ragetti said cheering up.

After a while, the group saw a man lying on the road. "Must…get…away! Beware! Beware!" he gasped. Will threw a bucket of water on him. The bucket knocked him out, and the water just soaked him. So this time, Will just threw the water from the bucket on him, and he woke up. He staggered to his feet, and Will threw another bucket-full of water on him. "Stop!" he managed to yell before yet another bucketful of water landed on him. The man sighed and stood there as he was soaked by at least twenty more bucketfuls. "Are you done, lad?" he finally asked when Will had gotten tired of hauling the heavy buckets.

"Yeah, I think so," he said.

"I must give you a warning!" the man began. "Don't go to the Emerald City! It's horrible!"

"Why shouldn't we go there?" Elizabeth asked.

"All they let you drink is Deer Park water, and you can only eat broccoli covered in peanut butter and ketchup (and occasionally soy sauce)! You must wear purple wooden shoes and orange pants!" Everyone gasped. "So much…clashing! It burns your eyes! You need to wear a plaid shirt, and a green hat with red polka dots! Even when it's not Christmas!" Everyone's eyes widened in disgust, fear, and amazement. Jack (the other Jack) ran screaming into the ocean.

"Make it stop! Make it stop!" Ragetti pleaded. The man shook his head with pity.

"Turn back while you still can," he simply said. And he suddenly melted into a swirling orange and purple puddle.

"So are we going back?" Pintel asked.

"I was ready t' leave right when 'e said ye can only drink water! What would I do without me rum?" Jack exclaimed. The group nodded. Every single person, at the exact same time! So they all started on their journey back. Little did they know, that a certain big purple dinosaur was headed their way!

What will our friends do when they encounter such a horrible sight! And how will they get their weenies back? Read on to find out…

Oh no! I'm losing the ablity too type! Encouragjeaojfeoa me on with someieoja reviewsaoifjeoajmo or I won'ttjoeajfea beeiaojfeoa ableejaiofea toooajfeioaf updatejaojfeoajo! Pleeajosssseaeee! Heeelpjfeoajoeja!


	8. Chapter 8

Dearest readers, thank you very much for your reviews. I am now able to type this chapter for you! Keep thinking of ideas, and the chapters will hopefully keep coming. Oh never mind, this is going to be the last chapter…sorry. But hopefully you will like it.

"I 'appened to have another question," Ragetti said after a while of walking in silence. Everyone groaned and waited for him to get it over with. "'Ow many wood does a chuck would chuck if a wood would chuck would chuck? Wait…that's not it… Um…'Ow much chuck would a would chuck would if a chuck would chuck wood? No…that's not it either. When does a chuck shuck corn? No…" Ragetti tried to ask the question for about twenty more minutes.

"Um…'ow many chucks of wood are in Peter Piper's pick? No…I almost got it…" Pintel sighed.

"You mean, How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?" he suggested.

"No, that's not it…" Ragetti said scratching his head. Pintel rolled his eyes thinking it would be better not to argue this time.

Suddenly, a big purple dinosaur appeared out of nowhere. (Stuff seems to be appearing out of nowhere a lot lately.) "I love you! You love me! We're a happy family!" he began singing merrily, even though his mouth wasn't moving. Everyone shielded their eyes.

"Noooo! It burns! So much purple! So much singing!" Ragetti cried. Barney (if that was his real name. Oh wait…I wonder if it is a he…okay, we're not going into that) started hurrying closer, but he tripped.

"Owww! I can't get up! Will you kiss my boo-boo?" he asked Jack struggling to get to his feet (if they really were feet.) Although he was hurt, the dinosaur did not even stop smiling. And he never blinked! (Something fishy is going on!) Jack (the Captain!) smiled. He took out a yellowed bottle and gave it to the flailing dinosaur.

"Drink this," he said. "Th' whole thing." Barney tipped the bottle to his smiling open mouth and it spilled out all over him. "No!" Jack cried. "Me rum! Ye filthy scallywag! Ye #& #& #& &# &&# 287#&#& &#!" he swore at the dinosaur, kicking him fiercely.

"I'm hungry," Ragetti pouted. Jack looked up and the eyes of the members of the group lit up with a sudden idea.

**A little later…**

A campfire burned brightly in the middle of the yellow brick road. (Wood and matches had magically appeared out of nowhere, as always.) The group sat around the fire roasting purple pieces of meat in frying pans. It was quite delicious after not eating for a while. Suddenly, a voice said, "You go first!" The group looked around arching their brows and scratching their heads trying to figure out where the sound had come from. They decided that it had simply been the wind…although there wasn't even the slightest breeze.

"Oh tartar sauce!" another voice said. "I win."

"But it's not Wednesday at 3:05 in the afternoon," the other voice argued. "So that means that you have to go first."

"Barnacles!" the first voice said. Suddenly, a yellow sponge jumped out of the water onto the road. He observed the people (and animals…and a block of metal) cooking the purple meat. "It's Friday already?" he asked. "Oh no! I should be working at the Krusty Crab!" Jack just looked at him and smiled showing his gold tooth. "Uh oh…" Spongerobert said as Jack grabbed him.

A few minutes later, the group finished washing dishes with the grimy sponge. It was just then that a pink starfish jumped out of the water. "'Ello there!" Ragetti said seeing him on the side of the road. "It's a fallen star!" he said, eye opening wide with amazement. "We 'ave t' throw it back up!" Pintel sighed. He was too tired to explain the starfish to his slightly slow friend.

"Okay, Ragetti, ye get th' cannon," he said. The eager pirate hurried to get the cannon that had magically appeared out of nowhere. He then loaded the starfish into it and lit the fuse. BOOM! The "star" shot up into the air. Ragetti smiled knowing that he had saved a fallen star.

**Two hours later…**

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Patrick screamed as he fell back down to earth. He landed on a cloud with a magical castle. White horses with wings pranced around watching a pretty princess dance with a Prince Charming. Suddenly, the princess noticed Patrick and ran over to him.

"Oh you poor dear!" she cooed. "Why don't you come inside and have some tea?" Patrick smiled dumbly showing his one tooth. The princess took care of him and they lived happily ever after. (Except for Prince Charming who was getting very jealous. But don't worry, he would soon fall off the edge of the cloud and into the ocean far below! Yay!)

**Back underwater…**

"Hmm…a lobless lobster…a lobless lobster…I can't think of anything," the Scarecrow said. "Man, I wish I had some brains…"

I was just kidding before when I said this was the last chapter. I hope you didn't get too upset and run out of the house screaming. Sorry…it was funny though…haha!

(In a dramatic announcer voice) And so the story continues. With Captain Jack, his crew, the Tin Block, the "Lion", the other Jack, and the Beatles hurrying back to the Pearl, the Scarecrow contemplating what "a lobless lobster" means, and Patrick in his castle on a cloud. What will happen when the group gets back to the Pearl? And what will meet them along the way?

Special thanks to -Defy-Gravity-xx for the ideas of Spongebob and "How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood." If anyone else gave ideas, don't worry, they might be used in the chapters coming up. I didn't want to load up one chapter with too many ideas or I wouldn't have anything left over for the others!


	9. Chapter 9

Dearest readers, if you are still here, I am truly sorry that it has taken me so long to get up a new chapter. I'm sure you are looking for an excuse, so I will give you one. I was kidnapped by a purple alien with a tinge of blue that had five and a half legs. But that's just an excuse, so it's not true. The truth is…well I'm sure you would like to get back to the story so, without further ado, I present to you, my shoe!

Hello, I am a shoe. Okay, let's get back to the story, if that's what you call it.

Anyway, we left our "friends" on the yellow brick road back to the Black Pearl. They had been traveling the whole time that I had not been writing, and nothing interesting happened for me to write about. I didn't want you to be too bored. The Scarecrow had almost figured out what a lobless lobster meant. The Human Spider had taken the weenies, and Patrick Star was left in a castle on a cloud.

The group of incredibly slow people continued on their short trek to the Black Pearl that had taken them many weeks. Soon, a man in a cloak could be seen walking towards them. Once he had gotten quite close, he pulled out a silver cylinder and a burst of light appeared from one end. He wielded it like a sword. "Who are you!" he demanded.

"Luke, I am your cousin's friend's aunt's mother's niece's grandmother's boss's dog's fire hydrant's fire truck's block of metal," the Tin Block bravely exclaimed. The man's eyes lightened and he nodded, lowering his "sword."

"What's that thing you're holding?" Jack (the bird…haha get it? Sparrow! I'm so clever!) said.

"It's a light saber," the man asked.

"Oh, ye mean th' candies shaped like donuts?" Ragetti asked his eyes lighting up with excitement. Luke raised an eyebrow at him and slowly shook his head. Suddenly, his gaze met the pirate's shoe and stepped back in surprise.

"Your shoelaces are untied!" he screamed dramatically. The man focused on the shoelaces and began to concentrate. Nothing happened. Ragetti felt quite uncomfortable, but when he tried to move, Luke yelled at him.

After about twenty minutes, the shoelaces moved slightly. A look of extreme delight covered Luke's face and he concentrated even more. After another hour, the shoelaces had tied themselves. "Nice use of the force, Luke," the Tin Block exclaimed.

"Thank you, cousin's friend's aunt's mother's niece's grandmother's boss's dog's fire hydrant's fire truck's block of metal," Luke said. "I have learned an even more complicated move using the force," he said. He then pushed Ragetti into the water.

"That was extremely forceful," the Tin Block complemented. "Has your master forced you to use the force forcefully?"

"Yes, I am very forceful at using the force, which forces my master to force me to keep forcing the force." (Wow, force seems like a really weird word now that I've used it so much. It looks weird…hmm…)

"Oh young people these days, with their new lingo," the Tin Block chuckled like an elderly man which was more coughing than laughing.

"Well I must be forc- I mean leaving," Luke said. "To infinity and beyond!" he yelled. And with that, the boy slowly began to rise into the air with his hands extended above him.

After about two hours, he was two feet off the ground. "This force of gravity is forcing me forcefully down against my use of forceful force!" he said.

"Um…ok, Luke. Well, I guess we'll be going now," the Tin Block said having no idea what Luke had said. (I don't really have any idea either.) And so the group marched on after retrieving Ragetti from the sea.

**So many hours later that I lost count. Even though I lost count at three. But it was well after three hours. Okay, you get it… it was long.**

(This part is a tribute to my hero, Steve Irwin. Well he wasn't really my hero, but he was a pretty awesome dude. I can't believe he died! How is that possible! Anyway, this part is in honor of the almighty Crocodile Hunter!)

Somehow, the group had gone the wrong way on the yellow brick road, and they ended up in Australia.

"Oh, isn't she a beauty!" a voice with an Australian accent could be heard. Jack (the Sparrow meister), his crew, the other Jack, the "lion," the Tin Block, and the Beatles rounded a turn and saw the almighty Crocodile Hunter crouched in front of a one hundred foot crocodile! (That's over 99 feet for all you math majors!) One of the croc's teeth was bigger than a pin! (Wow, that's huge! Even bigger than a pinhead!) Anyway, the humongous crocodile lunged quickly at Steve! It looked like the end for our poor friend.

But suddenly, the amazing Crocodile Hunter jumped into a matrix-like move, flipping up into the air and landing on the crocodile's back. He grabbed the animal's huge mouth and pinned the huge reptile to the ground. A referee counted to ten and rung a bell. Then Steve flew off the animal and onto the ground beside it. "Crikey!" he yelled victoriously. The crocodile that had been beaten hung his head and crawled away into the water.

The group stared wide-eyed at the strange show they had just seen. Ragetti looked at the others. "I think it's some sorta foreign game," he said. They all shrugged and continued on in their search to find the Black Pearl and their weenies.

**Meanwhile…**

"A lobless lobster, a lobless lobster, hmm…" the Scarecrow thought back in the Caribbean waters. "Oh, I get it! It's a lobster with no lobs! But what does that mean…"

Raises an eyebrow at the screen wondering when the Scarecrow would ever get the answer. Well, I guess I have to think of it first…oh well…

Anyway, I hope you liked that chapter. **REVIEWS ARE ****GREATLY APPRECIATED!** Hint hint! Please continue giving me great ideas! Don't be offended if you don't see them in here. I obviously can't use all of them.

Special thanks to all you reviewers who have been so faithful in…well, reviewing. **THANK YOU!**


	10. Chapter 10

Dearest awesomest most wonderfullest coolest loyalist amazingest readers,

I know it has been many many months since I have written anything, but school is mean…and so is geometry, English, history, biology, and homework. Spanish isn't mean…and art, and lunch, and gym aren't mean… but yeah, you get the point…so I've just had a lot of "rubbish" in school. (yes, I said rubbish because I don't want to offend anyone…).

When we left off a few months ago, Jack, Elizabeth, Ragetti, Will, Pintel, the "lion", the Tin Block, and the Beatles dudes were heading on their way back to the Pearl. Spiderman had stolen the little weenies, and the Scarecrow was still trying to figure out what "a lobster with no lobs" meant.

Anyway, the group was grape-vining down the yellow brick road and playing everyday instruments such as the clarinet, flute, saxophone, trumpet, harp, piano, guitar, tuba, sousaphone, lyre, drums, banjo, Balalaika, and the spoons. Since they were so busy playing, they didn't notice that they had wandered into the North Pole. No one seemed to notice the freezing temperatures below zero, the biting sixty-mile winds, and the blinding blizzard swirling around them. Soon, Jack (the Sparrow) fell into a ten foot deep snow drift. Still no one noticed he had fallen and they grape-vined on until they came to a frozen lake. In the center, a teddy bear named Guess and a flamingo named Idoenoe (say that quickly) sat eating Honey Bunches of Oats Cereal.

Meanwhile, some friendly pink macaroni penguins (I didn't make that up…there are penguins called macaroni penguins! But they're not pink) had helped Jack out of the snow drift and he continued to grape-vine away. He hadn't gotten five feet when he fell into another snow drift. "Bloody snow drifts," he mumbled angrily.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (I mean the frozen lake…same thing), the group had grape-vined to the teddy bear and flamingo in the middle. "Hello, what's your name?" Elizabeth asked the teddy bear.

"Guess," he said.

"Um, ok," Elizabeth replied. "Teddy?"

"No, Guess," he said.

"Beary?"

"No, Guess."

"I'm all out of ideas," Elizabeth said frustrated. "What's your name?"

"Guess."

"Ugh…ok…Barney? Fuzzy? Wuzzy? John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith?"

"NO!! MY NAME IS GUESS!!!" the bear said.

"Oh!" Elizabeth smiled. "Why didn't you just say so?" The bear slapped her in the face and walked away. Elizabeth then turned to the flamingo. "And what's your name?" she asked.

"Idoenoe," he answered.

"How can you not know your own name? Don't you know anything?" Elizabeth laughed.

"Yes I do know a lot of things. Idoenoe's my name."

"You'll probably remember sometime," Elizabeth comforted him. The rest of the group understood Idoenoe's name, so they looked at her weirdly. The flamingo rolled his eyes and went back to eating Honey Bunches of Oats.

Soon Jack came across the ice riding a large polar bear. But the ice was too thin to support all that weight, so it began to crack! Everyone screamed as they broke away from each other onto little floating islands, but the flamingo calmly sat where he was eating the cereal. "Oh bugger," Jack said.

Meanwhile, back in the Caribbean, the Scarecrow noticed that his straw was quite wet, being in the water for many weeks. "I guess I will continue thinking about what I'm thinking about when I get out of the water," he thought. "But what am I thinking about again?" So he stayed in the water longer to think about what he was thinking about before he forgot the thought he thought about earlier.

Well, I'm pretty tired now, so I'm going to stop here. I hope you have enjoyed this chapter, although I know it wasn't very satisfying. But don't worry, hopefully the next chapter will be better (although I've been telling you this the whole time…). Well I guess you can just read this if you ever get bored…k, bye. Oh and REVIEWS would be appreciated…


	11. Chapter 11

Are you still there? I hope so…I know it's been at least a year since I've updated, and I don't really know how to explain since I've been doing absolutely nothing, but I just have to say that…well…here you go.

Okay, if I remember, we left off with our "friends" in the North Pole on a frozen lake that wasn't so frozen anymore (and of course the Scarecrow in the Caribbean as always).

"Okay, we could really use that yellow submarine at this moment," John Lennon said looking down at the dark, vast, endless depths of the frozen lake.

All of a sudden, a young kid appeared on the edge of the lake. "Come with me to Terabithia!" he yelled.

"Sorry, we're a bit busy balancing on these floating ice blocks," Jack Sparrow (CAPTAIN!!!) called, flailing his arms.

"And we don't exactly have a bridge," Will grumbled.

"Yes, there's a bridge right there!" the boy said pointing to the air above the swirling waters.

"I can't see it," Elizabeth said annoyed, straining her eyes.

"You have to use your imagination," the boy explained as if it was the simplest thing in the entire UNIVERSE.

"Oh!" Elizabeth realized. She stepped off her ice block onto the "bridge" and fell into the water. Screaming with cold and anger, she tried desperately to pull herself back up. "There's no bridge there! That was a rotten trick, foolish boy! Just wait 'til I get over there!"

Finally, she managed to clamor (that's a word isn't it?) back up onto the ice, shivering. The boy fell over on the ice laughing. "Haha! It gets them every time!" he shrieked. Jack raised an eyebrow at him.

Suddenly, a man in a blue jacket with white ruffles at the chest, waltzed over to the lake. "Who are you?" the boy asked him.

"My name is Austin "Danger" Powers," he explained in a British accent. "Now, move aside, boy, and let me show you how to impress the women." The boy raised his eyebrow at Austin and ran away.

Austin put his hands up and started dancing. Suddenly, Elizabeth got up and started walking towards him. She didn't realize the fact that there was a large, freezing lake in between her and Austin, so she continued anyway, falling in. "Oh no!" Austin exclaimed.

Will pulled out some dental floss. "Use this!" he yelled, throwing it to Austin.

"Of course!" he said pulling a line of floss out of the container. He threw it to Elizabeth, who caught it, and he pulled her in.

"No!" Will yelled. "You use it on your teeth!" he explained. Austin scowled at him, and pulled out a gun. But Elizabeth threw her arms around him, and he suddenly forgot about shooting Will.

"Groovy, baby," he said to Elizabeth.

All of a sudden (things always seem to happen suddenly around here), a package crashed down from the sky. An ugly creature emerged from the package. "Oh my goodness gracious sakes alive!" the tin block shouted. "There's something eating your head!!! Ew! It's the most hideous thing I've ever seen!"

"I think that's his face," Jack said sticking his tongue out in disgust.

"Oh…" the tin block said quietly. "I'm sorry for you."

"E.T. phone home!" the creature said. The others stared wide-eyed at it.

"It must be some kind of code," Elizabeth said softly. "What could E.T. stand for?" Everyone thought about it.

"Elephants Tripped?"

"Ellen Teller?"

"Ello' I'm Tony?"

"Ice Cream?"

"No…" the creature said slowly, in a raspy voice. "E.T. phone home!!!!"

"Oh, shut up, we're trying to think!" came the reply. The creature was angry. It's finger started to turn a reddish color. It became hotter and hotter until, BOOM!!!, it exploded, sending everyone flying into space.

Okay…I know this wasn't as funny as they used to be, but I have an AMAZING idea. And you will find out about it……….exactly……..LATER! So, I hope this has satisfied you for now, if you are still reading this, because I know if I were you, I would be so angry that it took so long to update that I would jump out a window. Just kidding…Okay, bye.


	12. Chapter 12

Dear readers,

Since it took me so long to update last time, I've decided to update quickly this time to make up for it. So…here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it! And reviews would be appreciated…they're the only thing that keeps me going these days…just kidding. But they are pretty nice. Okay, here's the story:

After plunging through the earth's atmosphere at unimaginable speeds, we find our "friends" drifting through the vast vacuum known as "space." I assume it's because it is just a big space in the universe…yeah, that might have something to do with it. But anyway, as in many fictional stories, they were able to breath in said space. (I recommend that you do not try this in space, because it may result in death.)

"My dreams have finally come true!" Ragetti screamed. "I can fly!!!" He flapped his arms in the weightless air and spun in circles, bursting with joy.

"Actually, I think we're in space," the one who has formerly been known as the Governator said.

"Groovy, baby," Austin said, smiling.

Soon, the characters moved towards the moon, being pulled by its gravity. They landed on the grayish soil after a while. Not really knowing what to do next, the "friends" played around, experimenting with the low gravity level.

Suddenly, they saw a creature emerging from a crater. It was dressed in white, and its head was large and circular. There was a panel on the front of the head that seemed to be made out of glass. It approached them slowly, seeming cautious. As it got closer, a static filled sound came out of it. "Houston, we have a problem," it said. It was Neil Armstrong.

"Who's Houston?" Elizabeth asked. Neil looked at her without answering.

"It seems there are people up here with me," he said into a walkie-talkie. Laughing came from the device, and Neil sighed.

"Hey can I try that?" Ragetti asked, approaching Neil. The astronaut handed him the walkie-talkie.

"Hi, Mom!" Ragetti said into it. "I know you're still mad at me for leaving and becoming a pirate, but I just want to say, I'm sorry!" He began blubbering, and the one formally known as the Governator took it out of his hand.

"Luke, I am your father!" he said into it. Then, the Tin Block, who had grown quite hungry, pulled it out of his hand.

"Hi, can I order a large with extra cheese, pepperoni, sausage, ketchup, ice cream, and a diced sock?" he asked, his mouth beginning to water. Everyone looked at him curiously.

Suddenly, a small object began to come into view. As he got closer, they noticed that he was a small toy, and he was singing.

"You've got a friend in me," he said gesturing to the group and then to himself. "You've got a friend in me. When the road is…rough ahead, and you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed…You just remember what your old pal said, oh you've got a friend in me. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da."

"Who are you?" someone asked when he had stopped singing.

"Buzz Lightyear, of Star Command," he answered proudly. Suddenly, there was a loud explosion and Buzz was blasted out to space. "To infinity and beyond!" he yelled. Ragetti stood over a smoking cannon (that had appeared out of nowhere as usual).

"Why are you always blasting people away?" Jack Sparrow (who just happens to be a CAPTIAN!!!) asked angrily. Ragetti shrugged.

"It's fun," he said simply.

Suddenly, they came to the edge of a huge crater, that was deeper than the Grand Canyon (in all it's grandness). There, they found a girl named Rose crying beside a huge, broken ship. "What happened?!" Elizabeth asked her.

"We hit an iceberg!" she cried.

"Hi, I'm Jack," the one formally known as the Governator said, walking up to her.

"Oh, Jack!" she cried falling into his arms.

At that moment, the ground below them started to crack, and the one formally known as the Governator began to fall into the crater, but Rose caught his hand. "I'll never let you go, Jack!" she cried. But then she did. "Oh, sorry about that!" she called as he slowly started falling into the crater.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" he cried.

After a few hours of falling very slowly (due to the low gravity), Jack gently landed on the bottom of the crater. "What were you thinking right before you hit the ground?!?!" a penguin with a microphone suddenly asked him.

"Uh…I was thinking that I want an ice cream cone," the one formerly known as the Governator explained.

"Thank you, One Who Falls From Sky," the penguin said.

"Uh…okay," the Governator answered.

Back out of the crater, everyone was still sitting, flying, flipping, and eating Frosted Flakes as usual.

At that moment, some random ship (that happened to be very pretty) from Star Wars flew over to the moon. Beside it was another ship that was called "Little Dog" for some reason. Suddenly, the ship blasted them with its laser beam, sending them catapulting back toward Earth. "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!" Ragetti shouted, shaking his fist.

Sorry, folks, that's all we have time for today. But tune in next week for more exciting adventures with the Black Pearl and the Yellow Submarine! (although they are not at all part of the adventure, and I'm not sure if I will be able to update by next week…)


	13. Chapter 13

My dearest readers,

If you are still here, I would like to thank you for waiting all these years for me to update. You see, I have founded a league for zombie hunters, so I have been quite busy saving the world. As you can imagine. But I got a laptop so now I can work on this story during my shift at the zombie base. I did have a lot of fun reading my story over today after so long. And I noticed two things: I'm really weird…and I always mention reviews. It sounds like I'm some conceited loser who's always looking for praise. Praise is nice…but I won't bother you about it anymore =) So enjoy yet another chapter of The Black Pearl and the Yellow Submarine!!

So it seems that our heroes have been left catapulting through space for the last few years. They had to stop once in a while to eat and sleep as you can imagine. But soon the bright blue ocean came into view, a sight for sore eyes. Eyes can get very sore when they are on fire from the intense speeds of falling through the atmosphere. Happens to me all the time…

The group landed in the ocean with a gentle splash. Three judges sitting on a floating platform held up white cards…10, 9.5, 10.

"Are you kidding me? That was totally a ten, you—" Ragetti had clapped a hand over Pintel's mouth.

"No use getting upset," he said to his angry friend. "Take a deep breath." Pintel did as he was told. "Are we done now?" Ragetti asked. Pintel nodded sheepishly. Ragetti smiled, "Good job! Those anger management classes really paid off!"

As the group swam closer to the nearby island, they could make out with figures on the beach. I mean they could make out figures on the beach…

"Who are you?" Captain Jack asked a man in a ripped tee shirt.

"I'm Jack, who are you?" he answered.

"There are too many bloody Jacks in this story!" the Captain threw his hands up in the air and stomped angrily up the beach, ignoring the strange Jack's question.

"We're lost," Elizabeth whispered flirtatiously in his ear. She apparently was attracted to anyone named Jack.

"We're lost too," Jack answered backing away from her. "Our plane crashed on this island and we've been stuck here with only these cameramen and crew members who are making a TV show about us called Lost."

"How tragic!" Elizabeth cooed, going in for a hug. Suddenly a girl with curly brown hair jumped out of nowhere and punched her out.

"That's Kate," Jack pointed to her. "She's madly in love with me."

"No I'm not, Jack!" Kate shouted and ran over to another guy with long blonde hair and started making out with him.

"Um…ok," the Tin Block said. "Are there others?"

"Yes," Jack answered. "We call them the Others."

"That's silly," Ragetti remarked. "I would have called them the Ones-Who-Were-Not-Originally-Part-Of-Our-Group-But-Are-Here-With-Us-Anyway. Or the Owwnopoogbahwua."

"Sounds Hawaiian," Pintel commented. "It's not like this show is being filmed in Hawaii or anything…"

"And besides them, there are the other others," Jack continued, ignoring them. "They consist of a horse, a polar bear, a column of black smoke that eats people, a voice named Jacob, and dead people that have come back to life," Jack said nonchalantly. "Oh and just so you know, the island is skipping through time at the moment so we're not exactly sure where we are…I mean when we are. And the lives of all the people on the plane are somehow connected. And the island is magical."

"Sounds…confusing," the Tin Block said. "Maybe that's why they called it Lost."

Suddenly, a huge tyrannosaurus rex burst out of the trees. "It's one of the Others!" Jack shouted.

"Oh no!" Ragetti screamed. "It's one of the Ones-Who-Were-Not-Originally-Part-Of-Our-Group-But-Are-Here-With-Us-Anyway! Also known as a Owwnopoogbahwua! Which sounds Hawaiian! Ruuuuuuuun!"

The group ran down the beach and into the woods. They all got into a truck labeled Jurassic Park and headed deeper into the heart of the island.

"So this is what the heart of an island looks like…" Elizabeth said looking around curiously at the pulsing red walls.

"I didn't know islands were alive," the Tin Block said.

"Well this one is," Jack (the lost one) explained. Suddenly, the truck they were riding on began to transform. Before their very eyes, it became a giant robot. Because their very eyes would take a long time to become a giant robot, so the truck became one first. (I know, I know…corny).

"I am Optimus Prime," the robot introduced himself robotically.

"So does that mean you're number one?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yes," he answered.

"But one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do," a guy from Three Dog Night suddenly chimed in. Optimus Prime thought to himself.

"You're right," he finally said. "I have been feeling quite lonely. Perhaps I should be number two instead."

"Two can be as bad as one. It's the loneliest number since the number one," the Three Dog Night member said.

"So you're saying I have to be number three? No!" Optimus Prime crossed his arms in disapproval.

"No is the saddest experience you'll ever know," Three Dog Night man said.

"No!"

"Yes! It's the saddest experience you'll ever know."

"Why?"

"'Cause one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. One is the loneliest number, worse than two."

"Ok, Optimus the Third it is," Optimus finally agreed after half of the song was quoted.

"Can I be Optimus Prime now?" Will suddenly asked. He had been quiet for quite a while.

"Uh yeah," the robot agreed.

"YES!" Will (I mean Optimus Prime) exclaimed enthusiastically. "Take Optimus Prime back to the base!" Optimus Prime ordered in the third person.

And so the group headed back to the Black Pearl riding on a giant robot.

When they got back, they saw to their surprise a big group of fish people on the boat. Davy Jones was instructing one of his crewmembers. "Fish are friends, not food!"

"I'm a piranha! They in the Amazon!" the crewmember shouted back waving his arms in the air. Davy Jones pushed him off the side of the boat.

"Anyone else want to take a bite of my arm?" Davy Jones asked.

"Not particularly," Captain Jack answered. "Although it would go quite nicely with some melted butter. Davy Jones spun around angrily and flung a cannonball at Captain Jack but it missed and hit Optimus Prime in the head. He fell to the deck, unconscious.

When Optimus Prime opened his eyes, a circle of curious faces surrounded him. "How do you feel?" someone asked.

"Optimus Prime….feels….pretty!" Optimus Prime jumped up and skipped across the deck. "Oh so pretty! Optimus Prime feels pretty and witty and gay! And Optimus Prime pities any girl who isn't Optimus Prime today. La la la la la la la la la la!" he ran merrily down the ramp and followed the yellow brick road, singing into the sunset.

**In a dramatic announcer voice: **And so that concludes another chapter of The Black Pearl and the Yellow Submarine. Will we ever figure out what the Scarecrow is up to? What ever happened to the Human Spider? Are the Beatles still around? Is Will…I mean Optimus Prime…straight? These are the questions that must be answered…WHEN WE MEET AGAIN!


End file.
